He wants nothing to do with her OR the baby? I would love to pil your brain on this, specifically how your mom handled discussing it with you if you would be Willing to share. After 2 months, I initiated for a comeback. I always try to take what the LW says at face value though, and a lot of times I turn out to be very wrong when the updates come around, but I still always think its better to react to what they said not what I think they said. If he didnt want a child he should have better protected himself. I havent, and even though I am 110% pro-choice, Im not sure if its something I could actually do. And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. April 9, 2012, 1:23 pm. But dont be surprised if he gets slapped with child support responsibilities b/c he couldnt be responsible enough to prevent pregnancy it takes two. It seems like the LW is painting the woman in this scenario as the sole person responsible for the pregnancy. What happens when *she* gets pregnant and he still doesnt want to be a father? she's a real bitch. It doesnt matter whether he wants to be with this woman or not, your boyfriend made half of this baby and has an obligation to be a father figure to it. She told him she got pregnant on the pill, which I think is a lot of cod wallop. whose pregnancy and right to bear the child are apparently sacrosanct.-yep, true story Jimmy has made his choice. April 9, 2012, 5:46 pm. Seriously, that is your interpretation of the male thought process? Its only when a baby is involved is when men come to their senses and then have so much things to say like I didnt mean to hurt you, I barely knew her, or the famous line I was drunk. April 10, 2012, 9:46 pm. Chris (played by Tyler James Williams), is the ambitious, normal, responsible, intelligent, and kind-hearted, but troubled, unlucky, unpopular, untalented, nonathletic, underachieving, hapless, awkward, nerdy, vulnerable and mischievous eldest child and protagonist with anxiety disorder of the series.He wishes he was more like his younger brother, Drew. 5. And as far as I can tell, it happens an awful lot. evanscr05 But let me make a few suggestions Steve. Malarky. Hes scum, no one in their right mind is going to want to stay with him. Im surprised that you guys dont recognize Chuck. Im just trying to clarify the parameters here. Anyway, he ended the relationship with her and surprise, shes knocked up. Do you know how much day care alone is a month? Oh, may be you should marry him and fantasize what kind of fun he is having whenever hes late coming home, or fearful he would leave you when you, like that woman, passed 40; or be told to get rid of your baby who is inconvenient to him. Child support is, indeed, a lottery win for women, by which they compel men who had nothing to do with their lifestyle choices to support their lifestyle choices in the manner to which they have become accustomed. And not even the most important part. door to door service. Baby, our apartment isnt big enough for a baby. Stop insulting her and learn to see the situation for what it really is. Why, my God, you could have hit a chid running out in the street. The man has NOTHING to do with any child creation. hes signing up for sex, not fatherhood. SweetsAndBeats And as so many others have said dontt want a kid? Not a double standard at all. It's been really painful for me. Im waiting for the moral and mental gymnastics that say its OK to force a man to spend 18 years paying to provide a good life for the result of his error in judgement, but its not OK to force a woman to spend nine months working to simply give life to the result of her error in judgement. He found someone relatively fast and quick, and jumped in the bed with her. He was able to find someone else to keep him company. April 9, 2012, 12:24 pm. April 9, 2012, 5:57 pm. I must be bloody kidding myself. She doesnt have to listen to him, but the concern at least needs to be addressed. The dream is a signal for your quest for power. Only a valid argument of youre completely unaware of how babies are made and that birth control does not prevent pregnancy but only reduces the likelihood. Good times. Now, the woman could want it and the dude not want it. But I have no tolerance for the ones who cry foul after the fact when it hasnt gone their way. I recommend you seek individual therapy and process your feelings. Even if she was on birth control. April 9, 2012, 2:45 pm. Cmon now, youd never buy that argument for forcing the woman to have the child. Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? Youre reading waaaayyyy too much into what I said. That is how we got our first kid. Neither one of THEM created a child. And you dont sound much better. Lots of it. I think your anger is severely displaced and I think I know why if you evaluate the situation without being blinded by your inability to live without this guy, you would see that his true character is shining through and its probably not someone you really want to be with. )boyfriend who got the woman pregnant. savannah I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex. He isnt what is best for you. This was even more of a scandal in a small town in the 70s than it would have been today, but she decided to keep the baby. Women dont have to choose between the two both are within their purview. Both a man and a woman are needed to create a baby. You can get pregnant on birth control! I agree with the magically thing. Your FAMILY can be the most important thing in your life not just your children. I think hes allowed to have an opinion about the woman after all, hes about to be handcuffed to her for the next 19 years or so. Liberals only think of themselves. No, he could be furious at the legal system that compelled it or at the woman (who, by the way, was equally culpable in the creation) who opts to continue with a child only she wants.. Find someone without baggage. You deserve better. Um hello, hes 40 years old, he knows how babies are made. How very astute of you to notice the fundamental difference between the genders. Just because shes decided to not have an abortion because your boyfriend cant stand her and doesnt want anything to do with her or the innocent child, who, like it or not, he helped create, doesnt mean shes trying to trap him or that shes a scroat. Typical female (notice I didnt use the word woman, because she isnt grown up enough to be one) wants to control every man and every bank account around her. Pardon my French but if youre going to stick your dick into a stranger, you need to take birth control into your own hands and not rely on her word alone. I also think that some LWs after reading the comments change there stories in the updates to try to save face though. And the world goes round. Yes, the language in the letter is certainly. Theres many reasons besides wanting a mans money to not get an abortion. I think the LW comes across as bitter and resentful and would rather blame the other woman, making her out to be the villain, than to admit that she and her ex really might not belong together. Hell of course express things in a way that maximizes the chance of him not doing any more to hurt the LW than necessary. No reason to pass that one along to future generations, Rachelgrace53 Malarky. I just think its extremely scumbag-ish to want nothing to do with your child, no matter how it was conceived. April 10, 2012, 10:56 am, hes angry with the way this has worked out. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass. I just feel sorry for the pregnant girl. Everyone in this situation sounds like they belong on Jerry Springer. Wrong. If you cant handle the idea that this could happen, then wrap it up, or dont have casual sex. T he mystery of Tom's sudden baby endured until several years ago when I looked him up on Facebook. It could fail. And not surprisingly, the name callers are all female. Or that the person youve known for two minutes and are now having sex with is being honest with you about anything. Move on already, LW. So your boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his own child (except the required child support) and that didnt make you run screaming the other way? You wouldnt need to administer it. During the time we both were studying for the bar, we were on a break. MOA, and wash your hands of the whole thing. Doesnt have to be romantically involved with this woman, but he wants nothing to do with the child that he helped to create, or the woman he cant stand. Yes, it takes 2 to tango but she is the one carrying the child and an abortion isnt just an easy thing to do. Surely you know that So if you want to hate women for having child support, why dont you hate the men who skipped town. Reminds me of that one post about a girl's ex boyfriend getting a girl pregnant, but it wasn't actually his, and he was infertile. So go control them all you please. 60+ years on this ball-o-dirt and witnessing the madness going on around this place, as well as being an honest-to-God Christian. Women can choose whether to bind a man to support their child without the mans discretion. Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have.. Women have complete reproductive autonomy, but as far as I know it is impossible to become impregnated without a man somewhere in the equation. I got angry because it's something he should have told me. The problem is not the other woman, the problem is your man and how you are responding to everything. Im not so sure why he isnt allowed to be angry at her decision to keep the baby. Both of those things cant be true, LW. If she is a crappy mom the kid will be used to interfer unless she can find some sucker that wont let her. lets_be_honest April 9, 2012, 7:11 pm. Steve Kellmeyer If not, then why cant a man sever all legal and fiscal responsibility prior to the childs birth (as it would be a parallel situation)? Posted on June 29, 2022 in gabriela rose reagan. Weird question. Bossip Comment Policy I think he was just really scared, and alot had changed in a really short matter of time. ago. LW- your boyfriend is scum. When you split up with someone, you SPLIT UP. Read the comments. I agree with a lot of what you have been saying, but he clearly states he will be a deadbeat father to the child in question from what the LW states which is the main reason for his villification. Thanks for proving you and your ilk are out to entrap men to sustain your lifestyle by dropping as many babies as you can..and living on welfare checks honest people pay for..SLUT! Loved this guy, things were not working out, cos he was fucking around with other girls. Still, if I were the LW and I saw my newly reunited BF acting this way about his soon to be born child, Id get the heck out of there. Wow, thank you so much Lili. Everyone seems to assume he didnt use a condom, but nothing in the letter says that. It is quite possible to become pregnant on the pill. This doesnt arise from the rights of the mother. It seems like you would be even more concerned about this when sleeping with someone you are non-monogamous with. He made his feelings clear to her when she was only two weeks pregnant, telling her they havent been together two minutes! Doesnt matter if the owner of cocacola sat down with you and discussed the possible risk of opening a bottle and what you would both do if something went wrong. The LW clearly believes that this is the case, and an objective reading of the circumstances she describes suggests that its a legitimate consideration. He did help create it. BUT. Youre fucking advocating that brilliantly fool-proof method?! Taking no personality responsibility whatsoever and then whining about the consequences? bittergaymark He chose not to take the steps to avoid making a baby, and to avoid putting himself (and you!) It is scummy though. Im lucky that it has worked well for me and Im still childless, especially given the recent breakup and all. Our resident male troll is back and defending his gender. (and I hate that C-word.but LW, you deserve it). Neither is that birth control is not infallible. My above reenactment was not a true depiction of the dialogue I believe took place. Not necessarily. Francine And since shes the one with the baby in HER uterus, theres not a whole lot you can do to force her to have the abortion or stop her from doing so. I know, right? His anger is unwarranted unless its directed at himself. I came back to re-read because I was worried my reply would be disjointed and confusing (I wrote it tired last night, with a fever), so Im glad that while its not going to win any literary award, it wasnt totally nonsensical! Any woman who, in a divorce, grants custody of the children to the father is an immature asshole, and any woman who spends her life in her career an allows the father to raise the children is an immature asshole, because, in each of those cases, the woman is just as guilty of abdicating the role of parent as the guy here would be, and in many of them, she also doesnt even provide financial support. It's not that bad (though I'll take an IUD's 0.6%, thanks). So this guy sleeps with the first gal that catches his attention, but he only has eyes for you? iseeshiny April 9, 2012, 3:44 pm. You need to be consistent in your line of reasoning.. The law does not say men need to be financially responsible if the woman decides he should be. He has a choice he can be a father and split the responsibility with the mother instead of forcing her to have sole responsibility. Bless her heart. And, you are not the choice. New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Let him go. Answer (1 of 11): I am an older lady. This surprises you? Because it doesnt work that way around here and everyone knows it. April 10, 2012, 5:07 pm. One of the draw backs of only knowing someone for a short period of time. Best of luck. He could've at least waited a week after coming back! I think hes an asshole for sleeping with a woman he cant stand without using a condom. Sounds like its coming out of the starting blocks with two strikes against it in the gene pool department. April 10, 2012, 6:32 pm. Marriage to this woman would be the most stupid thing possible. Take it from me, every man screws up at some point. I mean for fuck sake? Regardless, this guy obviously doesnt seem like anyone you want to be in a relationship with. If a guy *does not* want to be a father, he shouldnt be having sex with women unless he knows, for sure, they have a similar attitude when it comes unintended pregnancy. Im not a woman hater happily married for 15 years, and I love my mother, my sister and even my mother-in-law. I think difference is ensuring that the child is cared for. Women can decide to abort the pregnancy or to give the child up for adoption, both of which are choices that remove any future obligation. Email usyour questions for Dr. Sherry now and be sure to include Ask Dr. Sherry in the subject line. You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life? Ummm hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated. I think its dispicable that you would consider re-uniting with a man that thinks his only obligation as a father is financial support. It really isnt fair, but that doesnt mean we have to make it more unfair. And he wants absolutely nothing to do with that baby? We were back and forth and it was very frustrating for me so I gave him an ultimatum I told him that he either wanted to make it work and we move forward, or, that I was leaving to another city to start over without him. She told him she got pregnant on the pill, which I think is a lot of cod wallopBut I think shes tried to trap him and hes untrappable. I think the LW and her ex would do better to break up for good. Its because of biology, and a legal system that puts the interests of the child above the interests of the parent. lets_be_honest Now I also believe that the LW is exposing herself to STDs not this guy, because she knows that he had unprotected sex with another women, and she still chooses to be with him either way. Exactly. Okay, Tim. He could be upset (and who wouldnt be) if he didnt want it but she was keeping it anyway. And you want to marry this guy because.why? My Spidey sense is tingling that this could be a fake. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. It was unplanned and a . bittergaymark Heres the fact: LW, you dont get a say in what this woman does, and neither does your boyfriend. Nope. Im quite late to the discussion, but I took a lot of time reading over the comments, trying to make sense of the two sides of the argument at hand. She isnt a woman he wants to be with his entire life. I just found out 4 days ago that my ex got a girl pregnant. Go argue with the feminists. Now, I suppose, you could argue that my gay friends are more careful because death is probably a bigger inconvenience that a child you dont want and most likely wont really give a flying fuck about anyway But no, seriously Apparently many straight people are just too dumb to use a condom correctly. I must be in the minority because oral sex is a regular part of sex btw my husband and I and Id definitely miss it if it wasnt. female Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have. If a woman gets pregnant from a quick, meaningless relationship and tells the father that shes expecting, and the father wants desperately to keep the baby, what do we call the woman who aborts the child anyways? April 9, 2012, 11:16 am, Oh, good lord. April 9, 2012, 12:39 pm. Remember that episode when Rachel told Ross she was pregnant and he freaked out because they used condoms? In the current system he has the option to opt out any time prior to conception. .you can call me whatever you like. It only says he asked her to. April 9, 2012, 5:52 pm, Sounds to me like your sister isnt so much unlucky, but a liar.
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